Friday, January 30, 2004

I have decided that I have never been more attached to any creature (non-human) than I am to my fish. Promise is a beautful betta, somewhat testy and demanding, but incredibly bright...for a fish. He/she (I haven't quite determined what it is yet...need to learn more about fish before I determine that I have this inseparable longing to develop a relationship with them, I guess) watches me, back and forth, as I parade about my room in a manner of frenzy throwing things helter-skelter and expressing my aggravation with my own detestable mess. I suppose that anyone who was in my presence at these times would sit wide-eyed and mouth agape, but I can tell that my fish likes it. I think Promise experienced a bout of severe manic depression last week. Or he/she was protesting that I did not put conditioner in his/her water. Everytime I came near to Promise's little abode, it was almost as if he/she stopped breathing altogether and was praying to become instantly camouflaged with the little plastic tree that I graciously decorated his/her tank with. I hate to think that I was the cause of the fish's severe paranoia and/or depression, but it seemed as though when I left, Promise would begin exhibitioning around the tank doing stunts and exercising the right to flaunt his/her beautiful tail. I was distraught. So much so, did this tamper with my psychological well-being, that I expressed my inner turmoil in my dreams one night. I actually dreamt that Promise could smile and laugh and would imitate me as I did so. And then he/she died and I cried for the rest of the dream.


If anyone can offer me a dream analysis I would be so incredibly grateful. Bring it on, Freud.


P.S. You won't be able to do so until I get my comments link set up...hope that doesn't effect your plans for the weekend (not being able to study, can't concentrate on the SuperBowl, etc.)
1:00 am...not sleeping well and past curfew, but Jay is here and suggests setting up a blog for me. Sounds good since I have just been reading Descartes and my mind is reeling as I try to assiduously (new word I picked up from Rene...he's a pretty smart guy) unravel the text. He mentions somewhere that only a few select will even comprehend his Meditations due to the lengthy read and depth of his thought, while the vast majority will be perplexed and cease to care. I made a note in the margin that I am likely to be one of those people. So far, so good. Although, I am enjoying the analogies he incorporates concerning the idea of something perfect and machines and craftsmen and stuff.

No, but seriously. I am not Cartesian, but it's pretty fascinating stuff.

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